Why The Church Doesn’t Talk About Dating Enough

Relationships matter! In fact, over the years one of the things I have seen impact people in the most negative way are their dating relationships. God paints a pretty clear picture of what relationships should look like all the way back in Genesis. In the creation account God creates everything and after he creates it all he makes this statement… “For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife” you notice He didn’t say… “For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother, date a bunch of different women, until he finds a good fit and then be united to her” 

The average person will date 26 people before they get married. The problem with dating this way is that it’s playing married and practicing for divorce. Culturally we have embraced this philosophy of dating that teaches this chronic cycle of jumping from dating relationship to dating relationship in search of the perfect mate. Unfortunately, this causes a lot of heartache, pain, emotional baggage, and sets the stage for an unhealthy marriage that has a strong chance statistically of ending in divorce one day. 

One of the main reasons why youth ministry is needed in the Church is because of the deterioration of the family unit in this country. Over 50% of marriages will end in divorce and while occasionally Churches will do a series on marriage, we often neglect to be intentional talking about dating. I believe this is a miss because the way people date is a strong indicator of how healthy their marriage will be. (Disclaimer… I understand that God is bigger than our past choices and that God can redeem anything, but if we as leaders in the body of Christ neglect to address a wide-spread issue that is having negative impacts on our people and our society shouldn’t we address it?)

What if we got really intentional in addressing dating relationships? What kind of impact would that have on young people and single people now? And what could marriages and families start to look like in the future? If we want to see healthier families, it starts with healthier marriages, and healthier marriages start with healthier dating relationships. 

Matt Moore

Pastor & Author of Intentional Youth Ministry